On the eve of surgery…

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~The little ham on her 2nd birthday~

As many of you are aware, Noelle goes in tomorrow morning for surgery to de-tether her spinal cord {more information on this condition can be seen here }.  You would think I would be used to this by now and in many ways I am, but in a lot of other ways I still am not.  Preparing for this particular surgery has been entirely different for us since all three of Noelle’s previous procedures were more emergent in nature, usually giving us little {if any} time to mentally or physically prepare ahead of time.  This time, we were given the choice on whether or not to proceed in this way, making our decision much more difficult.  We spent time praying and discussing, weighing all the pros and consequences of doing it or not.  In the end, God gave us peace about the decision, directing us through the process even down to the final timing of the surgery.  We deliberately pushed the date out to December {for a lot of reasons, too many to share on here at the moment}, not knowing that Noelle would have only recently begun to walk as we neared the date.  God’s timing is impeccable, and the medical team has been thrilled that she has learned the motion and motivation for walking before the surgery, but she has also not established a pattern or gait which will hopefully more easily allow her to adjust to a proper walking pattern after the surgery as she begins to work and use the correct muscles {if all goes as hoped/planned}.  We have been so grateful to have these weeks to continue to pray and spend time together creating special memories as a family, and we are looking forward to what lies beyond the surgery and all the possibilities this surgery may allow for her.  But if I were to be completely honest with you, I would also tell you that in many ways I am not excited about tomorrow or the coming days in the hospital.  The memories of Noelle’s first 8 months and life in and out of the hospital are very fresh, and we are more aware than ever of the risks that lie before us.  The papers we have signed this time {and many times} declare that our baby may have brain damage, develop _____ complications {the blank is filled with a variety of things}, or even die.  You might be surprised though to find that these are not things that keep me up at night or that make me sober about entering the hospital again.  No, instead it is the “daily grind” of the procedures and hospital life that I do not relish in these situations ~the IV sticks, the blood sugar pricks, the blood draws for labs, the constant beeping of the monitors, the endless parade of medical personnel, etc….  And yet, it is also these things for which I am thankful, for they are necessary and {mostly} helpful in this process to better health for Noelle.  So while I am not thrilled about putting Noelle through the “no fun” stuff of the next several days, I am also hopeful for the end results.  I do not lie awake at night worried about the possibility of brain damage, complications, or death because Noelle’s life and well-being are not sustained by her medical team, but by our great God~as we have so clearly seen in the past.  And when the negative memories come to mind, I choose not to dwell on the “daily grind” things of hospital life, for they will pass.  Ultimately, I am grateful.  God is faithful and will see us through once again ~ regardless of the final outcome, that fact is certain.  So you may find us tired, you might see concern and watchfulness in our eyes, you might even see tears beneath the surface; but I pray you will also see smiles of joy, much hope, and true peace.  No matter what happens, we are thankful to know that He sovereignly holds the future, and in Him we trust.  Thank you for praying with us to that end.

 

***We will do our very best to update the blog with details as we are able throughout Noelle’s surgery and hospital stay.  Thank you for your many words of encouragement and your prayers.  We truly appreciate them all, even if we are not able to individually respond at the time.***

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One Response to On the eve of surgery…

  1. Chastity Gomez December 13, 2013 at 11:07 AM #

    Will be praying often for sweet Noelle! And for you and your hubby:) Gods grace and peace is an amazing thing! Thank you for shining your light of faith through this journey!

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